Just Bragging

Eight reasons why I LOVE my life.

1- I love cleaning out my life and starting this amazing new chapter. Just moving away and getting the heck out of high school has changed me for the better in SO many ways. I never would have imagined going to college would strengthen not only my confidence and motivation, but also my testimony this much. I just feel so much better about myself knowing that I have conquered this incredibly hard thing, and that I can live on my own, using my own money for food and fun, and just knowing that I worked hard and earned this. It makes me want to improve all aspects of my life! I cleaned out my closet, cleaned out my music, even cleaned out my facebook likes. I started praying and reading the good book every night again, and I just feel like the old me again.

2- I'm LOVING having so many friends. I feel so loved everyday, like people want to go out of their way to see me, and to spend time with me! What?! I got so used to being the initiator all the time and having to basically beg people to hang out with me all the time, that I forgot what it's like to have real friends. The other night a couple of my roommates, and also our best guyfriend who lives down the hall came into my room at like 11 at night to talk for a bit and a couple of us ended up telling these life stories. I just feel so close to these kids, even though I've only known them for 6 weeks! I also think it's so awesome how easy it is to make friends in college. Like seriously, I'm a pro at the whole new kid thing, (I went to a new school every year from 4th to 10th grade) so I wasn't that worried about going to a new school again, but when you get here, EVERYONE is new! And everyone is looking for a place to belong. I can say "hi" to someone in the elevator on my way to the bus stop and be best friends with them by the time we get to campus.

3- I love the diversity at my school. I promise I'm really working on not hating Utah anymore, but Utah County was just too much for me. The only way I can think of to explain it is just so vanilla. Everyone I knew was Mormon, white, and lived there for a really long time. I'm sure that's really great for some people, and I'm really not ragging on Utah county, it's a nice place, but it just wasn't working for me. There's so much more diversity here! I know like 10 black kids (YEssssssss) and half my friends are not LDS and the majority are from states outside Utah. It's like I feel like myself again, like life makes sense! It's so much more like Flower Mound (where I lived in elementary school), because there's a very large Mormon/LDS community and an awesome LDS support system, but at the same time, I get to be unique and have something special that I can share with my friends! It's so nice to have all these missionary opportunities surrounding me again, just like growing up. ALSO there's some of MY people here!! There's a freaking bluegrass club here. Do you understand how awesome this is? I've met people from Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Louisiana. I can say that I love country music and instead of getting grossed-out looks all the time, people respect it, and some people are like "oh, hey! me too!" I finally feel like somebody understands me!

4- I love that I've come out of my shell here. I've said some pretty awkward things and been SO sarcastic, just because I'm so used to nobody listening to me, that I'm sort of out of practice with talking to my peers (hahah). But my friends have been so forgiving and understanding and still want to hang out with me! It just reminds me of who I used to be a few years ago when I came out of my shell for a bit. I was so confident, funny, and I had a lot of friends. Being shy is a lot safer but it sure is boring...

5- I love that I've almost entirely stopped caring what other people think about me. I mean, for the most part I didn't care that much before, just because I hated high school anyways, haha, but now I just feel like I can be myself and people will love me anyways. I think all the stuff I went through in the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012 just left me so jaded, and bitter, and skeptical, and now I've just burst through it, like I can finally be myself again, a person I haven't been since I was 16! It's so freeing.

6- I love that through all of this my testimony has grown and my relationship with my Father in Heaven has grown so much. I used to have such a strong testimony in like, 8th-10th grade and somewhere along the line I just got a little off track. I love Sundays and haven't missed a meeting yet! This has got to be some sort of record for me. I've found that I look forward to going to bed at night just so I can study my scriptures (including my Libro de Mormon!) and pray and just feel this enormous love my savior has for me.

7- I love how easy it is to learn and to get good grades. Now, don't get me wrong I LOVE my family with all my heart, but I think having this chance to get away and sort-of figure out how to do things completely by myself (including motivating myself to study and do my homework) has helped me tremendously. Also just the fact that there is SO much less pressure! It's crazy how over-achieving everybody in my high school was, and here it's just so much more laid back because nobody has a specific reputation or anything that they have to keep up, and there's no parents constantly breathing down our necks telling us to get A's on everything all the time, and the professors are SO much easier to understand. I think loosening the reigns a tiny bit has just made me more disciplined and motivated and I just feel so much more successful in general. TAKE THAT (insert worst high-school-teacher-ever's name here) You can't break me! I knew I wasn't stupid after all.

8- Best of all: I LOVE MUSIC MAJORS. This kind of goes along with the diversity thing, but I really take pride in my weird, awkward, "music-girl" identity, and it's so nice to have people around me who feel the same way! I mean, even just in Utah in general there's a lot more focus on the arts, but even in the top choirs and bands there's always those kids that are just in it for the reputation, or to go to New York on tour. In college in an actual music major where this is what we want to do with the rest of our lives, it's the real deal. These people are so passionate. So passionate, and nerdy, and expressive, and it's inspiring really. I have no problem waking up at 6am M,W,F for my super early music classes, because I know I'm going to a class where people care, and they are serious about being there! I've found it so much easier to write here too! Last school year I wrote maybe 3 songs total. That's including piano solos, country songs, vocal things, all of it. Since I moved here, I've written 5 songs in 5 weeks. I love how easily I can express myself.

I'm so incredibly grateful for this opportunity. I get to live with my best friends everyday, study what I love with people that are really serious about music, and most of all, I'm grateful for the changes I'm seeing in myself. I love being happy :)